Losing My Voice to Find My Voice
I’d had a stomach ache most of the day. I just needed a moment to be sick – finally I stole a moment. The only gender neutral bathroom was clear on the other side of hospital far away from my office. I stood, momentarily Transfixed. Looking at the two bathrooms, I glanced at the one with the “man” on the door. I knew this bathroom-I’d used it for years. Then again, I am wearing a skirt today—my mind wandered back to a few days ago. Watching a man do a double take as he was walking into that bathroom at the same moment I was walking out. I’m not sure how people perceive me anymore --- I feel like I look pretty. Yet I’m still getting misgendered frequently. Somehow the “boy” bathroom no longer felt safe for me. Even if I was gendered as male I was a male in a skirt – something that has never been safe. – Sigh--- Ok take a deep breath. I tentatively pushed open the door to the “girl” one. Nobody inside --- it’s one stall and a sink. This feels safe. I take a chance, hoping I’ll be unnotic...